


a little uneven

by fated_addiction



Category: K-pop, Korean Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13600095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: around joy, seulgi is vague.or, seulgi isn't usually like this. but joy is.





	a little uneven

-

 

 

 

around joy, seulgi is vague.

"you're so _frustrating_ ," joy screeches. between her teeth. she wears a narrow frown. "just say something and take responsibility."

seulgi wonders how they got here.

 

 

 

 

 

one would think she is in love with park sooyoung. she is. but that's none of joy's business. if it were up to seulgi, it's business as usual. a steady, resounding income from work you love is supposed to be enough. but joy crept in, painfully and unexpectedly, between small, heavy touches and bright, wide eyes, leaving seulgi unable to have that freedom. to keep secrets.

wendy laughs when she explains this.

"i've learned," she says slowly. frankly too. "i've learned that the more you try to control your feelings, the less you can control your actions. hiding from them isn't going to change how you feel, you know."

"you make it sound so easy." seulgi picks up the croissant between them. they are sitting outside their waiting from. irene is late. yeri is visiting another room. joy is caught in traffic. thank god, they are closing rehearsal and the show. "like i should just change how i feel about feeling things and just -" she breaks the croissant, handing a piece to wendy, "accept it."

wendy shakes her head. "she is already ready to swallow you whole," she says.

unfortunately, seulgi knows what she means.

 

 

 

 

 

how they got here:

joy reads scripts now. late into the night. until the dark circles under her eyes become pronounced.

"your face is going to stay that way."

in the room that they share, seulgi picks the doorframe and joy brandishes a pillow. throws it at seulgi's face. she's cranky and it's worked itself into her mouth. they're going to fight, seulgi thinks.

"you're not helping." joy pouts. her mouth flushes and softens. she's prettiest when she's honest, seulgi thinks. "are you going to sleep? i'm going to be up for a few more hours," she warns.

seulgi steps into the room. she closes the door carefully. hears wendy walk down the hall into the room she shares with irene. she ignores her bed completely and drops next to joy's. she takes the corner against the wall and stretches back.

"i have a question," she says quietly. doesn't mean to. there is a rustle of papers between them. a few minutes later, joy is on her stomach, flat on the bed next to her. seulgi stares at the ceiling. "i don't know how to ask it." and suddenly, the words start to flow. "i don't even know if i want to ask it. but it's there, the question... i wish -"

"yes."

"what?"

joy scoffs. "yes, you idiot."

"you don't know what i'm going to ask you."

"you don't even know what you're going to ask me." joy shifts to push her script off the bed. it abandons them with a crash. "so don't looks so annoyed that i'm beating you to the punchline."

"there's no punchline," seulgi says dryly.

joy groans. her legs flail in the bed. it's too much to be a pure tantrum. but joy still does it. she growls into her pillow and then turns, lifting herself with one arm to tower over seulgi.

"you're so _frustrating_ ," joy screeches. between her teeth. she stays wearing a narrow frown. "just say something and take responsibility."

seulgi blinks.

"i don't care if you don't want to act on your feelings. because you haven't asked me about mine. you're so deep in your own stupid head, that thinking about me having feelings for you is something that you totally bypassed. because why? because you're worried about the world ending. or the promotional cycle or about our unnies who are too deep in their own _stuff_ to care about us. there's yeri too, who basically told me yesterday to get over myself and tell you to get over _yourself_ -"

seulgi kisses her. taking responsibility. or just to shut her up. an open mouth kiss holds too much frustration. tangible frustration. seulgi rakes a hand through joy's hair. bites at her lip and knows she has a kissing scene in a couple of hours. after sleeping for a couple of more. but kissing joy is more than just kissing joy, it's the actualization of it: joy drags a hand into her hair, pulls and twists, just so that she's pressing into seulgi's side, so that her tongue flicks against seulgi's and it's sweet and wet and hot and a goddamn competition all of the sudden. there is nothing gentle about the way joy kisses back.

and seulgi keeps herself as a work in progress. she's breathless, yanking her mouth back. maybe a little wide-eyed.

"wasn't ready for that," she mutters.

"i don't care." joy's thumb finds her lip. strokes it. "you'll manage."

"i don't know," seulgi murmurs and looks away. her heart launches itself into her throat. she drops her face into the pillow. joy snorts and picks up her script from the floor. they won't talk about this.

seulgi's park sooyoung problem remains the same: live, ready, too bright for her to handle.

and never a step forward.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by an iris murdoch letter quote i saw floating around:
> 
> "i love you terribly, i can’t think why."


End file.
